SAMPLE EDITING TEST PARAGRAPH SAMPLE PART 1 OF FINAL EXAM F05

 

Editing Test Paragraph

 

Underline any points in this paragraph where errors occur in grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization or sentence construction (fragments, fused sentences or comma splices). Write in the correction immediately above where the error occurs. You may add, change or remove a word or a few word to make a correction, but you should NOT completely rewrite whole sentences.

 

The story Four directions, by Amy Tan has a very interesting theme. This theme is expressed threw the life and development of a young girl. When first reading this story the reader might think that it is about a chinese girl. Who has lost gift of playing chess like a prodigy. After reading the hole story the reader realizes that the girl does not only loose her gift but something more profound and meaningfull, her transition from an inocent child to an adolescence, is the actual focus and theme of this story. This essay will analyze the conflict between the mother and the daughter, whose the narrator of the story and consider how chess is used as a metaphore. Finally the way in which coming of age is revealed as the major theme will be examined.

 


The plot of AFour Directions@ is centered around a conflict between the mother and daughter. The mother brags about how well her daughter plays chess, she is proud of how easy it is for her daughter to win. She says these things so she can be involved in her daughters life. The daughter took this the wrong way, she says that her mother is just trying to take all the credit: AI told her she didn=t no anything so she shouldnt show off. She should shut up (Tan 2.31) The mother than stops talking to her daughter and treats her Aas if [the daughter] had become invisible and she was talking about a rotten fish she had thrown away but which had left behind it=s bad smell@ (2.31). The author uses this metaphor to show that the daughter is upset about the conflict, the use of Arotten fish@ and Abad smell@ emphasize the negative feelings the daughter has about her mother at this point. The daughter then uses a strategy, as she would in chess to try to get her mother to talk to her. Alot of time passes but there still not talking to each other. The daughter refuses to play chess; thinking this will make her mother talk her out of sacrificing a tournament. The daughter shows independance from her parent=s. In the end the mother creates a barrier against her daughter: she no longer hovered over me as I practiced different chess games. She did not polish my trophies everyday@ (2.32) The protective and caring mother that was always their for her daughter is no longer there. The daughter thought that her mother has changed but its really the narrator whose growing and developing.